|a group of guys going out:||hell yeah man i'm gonna get fucked up and if i find a hot girl i wanna take home i might need a wingman just fyi|
|a group of girls going out:||okay ladies remember we're going in in formation B so we don't lose sight of one another, but if there's any trouble we decided on secret hand gesture alpha-6. don't accept drinks from anybody, we just can't risk it tonight. stacey, did you print out the blueprints of the frat house? oh i see you color coded it so we know which areas have the highest population density and which rooms are well lit, excellent. marie i need that report on incidents of date rape from the last five years. thanks. alright, i think we're all set then. remember the buddy system. let's have a wild night ladies, but stay safe.|
4/20? You mean 1/5 reduce your fractions did you even learn math
i think the name ‘frodo’ has a certain ring to it
The goddamn movies. They can ruin you. I’m not kidding.
kids… cover your eyes…those are heterosexuals
i luv kids they are so much funner to talk to than adults. i asked a toddler today whats up and he said “ten” with such conviction i really did believe it was an adequate response to my question for a second
why is “in cahoots with” not a relationship option on facebook